Thursday, 22 November 2012

Out Of The Blue (Full Chapter)

Pushing the door open in a hurry Nicki threw her bag to the ground and tore her shoes off.

"Safaree?!" There was silence as she was about to shout him again but she saw him on the couch. "Hey, you didn't hear me shoutin' for you?"

"Yeah, I was sleep. Sorry." He stood up and greeted her properly with a kiss before she pushed him off.

"Stop, I need to hurry!" Giggling she continued on to her room. "Where's Noah?"

"Oh I put him down for a nap a while ago."

"Well the girls are goin' shoppin' so I'mma take him with me. You know where his bag is?" She was searching around as he stood in the same position.

"By the door."

"You ok? You're doin' that thing where you answer with like, one word." She was trying to keep it sweet but she hated when he did that. How were they supposed to resolve their issues if he never said what was wrong and acted like this?

"I'm good, just tired. Anyway I'mma go get showered up. I'll see you later." He moved over to where she was and kissed her like he was never going to see her again before pulling away and looking at her.

"I'm goin' to the mall Safaree, it's ten minutes away." She laughed at how weird and cute he was being.

"I know, but I'm not gon' see you before you leave. So I'm sayin' bye now." He ran his thumb over her dimple and smiled at her.

"Now you're just being corny. Get off of me." She cackled not knowing that he was being dead serious. He did what he said he was going to do and shut himself in the bathroom as she heard the shower turn on. Mumbling to herself she threw Noah's stuff on the counter and quickly went to get some better shoes before getting Noah. Luckily she saw him standing up against his crib railings and was relieved he was awake.

"I knew he wouldn't change you." She wrinkled her nose up and lay him on the changing table. It took her all of three minutes to get him sorted. Pulling his little pants back up over his diaper she grabbed his coat from the rocking chair, since his surgery he had to keep all rugged up and warm so Nicki was taking no risks. "Mmkay, we're ready." She zipped his coat right up and sat him comfortably on her hip before moving back to the kitchen and grabbing the rest of their things. Yelling bye once more she didn't get a response but knew he was showering.

***

"Nicki! He's the cutest little thing I have ever seen!" Cassie was peering over at him in his stroller as they sat enjoying their food.

"Cassie, you haven't seen him in a bad mood."

"Oh, is he like you?" Lauren couldn't help but laugh at how serious Cassie was but she didn't seem to notice what she'd said.

"The hell is that s'posed to mean?" She laughed along before handing Noah a piece of her burger bread bun. Not even hesitating to investigate what it was he shoved it into his mouth along with half of his hand.

"Wow, he really is his Mother's son." Candi's comment was followed  by a swift thump to her upper arm before she gasped and grabbed at the skin where Nicki just hit her.

"He's a growing boy, he needs his food." She wiped his face before turning her attention back to the group.

"So did you speak to SB?" TT was just dusting the crumbs off of her hands as she spoke.

"No, he was gettin' ready for his shift and I was runnin' 'round like a damn blue-assed fly to get here on time. I'll make sure I talk to him when I get back." She chewed on the inside of her cheek as she thought. He had been acting a little weird, but who wouldn't after everything they'd just been through?

"Well, are we gon' go shoppin' or just sit here?" Cassie was the first to stand after her brisk question as they all disposed of their trash and roamed around. A few of the stores Nicki had to sit outside because it was too difficult to manoeuvre Noah's stroller through all the clothes racks but she didn't mind she was just happy to be out with her friends. Feeling the stroller shake as Noah had a mini tantrum she turned it around to face her, he looked grumpy. His grouchy grumbles gave her the hint that it was time for them to leave, she didn't drag anyone else away though just saying her goodbyes she headed back to the car.

***

Safaree had only been filling in for another worker and had told Nicki that he'd be home before 7pm, which she was glad about because she needed to talk with him. Setting all the bags down she moved further in before shutting the door and removing Noah's coat.

"Safaree?" There was no reply, ignoring the lack of response she moved through to the bathroom and started running a shallow bath for Noah who was now clutching on to her for dear life as she bent over into the tub to reach the taps. "Baby, I'm not gon' drop you." He only grumbled as she stood up again. Setting him down on the lounge room rug he crawled over to where his toys were as she switched between checking the bath water and undressing him. Thankfully he wasn't in as much a grumpy mood as she thought and bath time went smoothly. Now sitting on the couch she had Noah in his all-in-one pyjama suit laying next to her on a bundle of cushions as she held the bottle to his face. She'd put the TV on to remove some of the silence. Safaree still wasn't back and she was starting to get worried as she looked at the time, it was almost nine. Knowing that the social worker was visiting tomorrow she decided to concentrate on getting Noah to bed first and then she'd worry about where the hell Safaree was.

***

He'd been sat in his parked car for hours, just thinking. Honestly that was always a bad thing. His thoughts would expand and become more embedded and before he knew it he was making decisions he never knew he wanted to make. It had only really dawned on him today when Nicki was at school. He had Noah for the day and decided to take him out. He loved when everyone would make comments about him being a cute kid and how lucky he was to be his Father. Of course, he could fool them but Noah was always going to grow up knowing that Drake was his Dad. He'd be around them forever. He knew he'd told Nicki that nothing had changed, that he'd never leave her. But everything had changed, it was almost as if he didn't fit in to their lives anymore. Like he was on the outside looking in, which he knew was complete bullshit but that feeling wasn't going to go away. Not any time soon, maybe not ever. The thoughts continued to fill his head before he started the engine angrily. He wasn't angry at Nicki nor was he angry at Drake, he was angry at himself for all the hurt he was about to cause her.

The fact that she was laying asleep on the sofa let him know that she'd been sat up waiting for him. He felt like shit but there was no way he'd be able to carry on like this. It was asking too much of him. He wished he'd never opened his mouth and promised that he'd never leave her or that he'd always be there for her. Being a coward was not exactly what he would call it but in reality that's what it was. The thoughts continued to fill his mind as he kissed her lightly on her forehead before moving to Noah's room. Although he wasn't his child he was sure as hell going to miss the little guy. Peering into his crib he smiled seeing that he was awake, just staring at his decorated ceiling. The pacifier in his mouth stopped moving for a split second as he noticed Safaree staring into his crib. That was what killed him, seeing him smile at the sight of his face. Stroking his cheek gently he whispered goodbye and stood up before his emotions got the best of him. It wasn't a spur of the moment decision, he knew that as he grabbed the already packed bag out of his old room, Nicki never went in there. Securing the handle in his gripped fist he knocked off the light and placed the envelope on the coffee table in front of Nicki, she'd definitely see it when she woke up. He looked at her for a while longer before actually building himself up to walking out with one last peck on her lips. As soon as the front door shut behind him, he was gone.

She woke up with a start when her leg slipped off of the couch. It was only 7am and honestly she couldn't remember falling asleep. Slowly sitting up she stretched her back out and yawned as she looked around the room. She still had to clean up a bit more before the social worker came. Noticing an envelope on the coffee table she could only presume it was from Safaree, which was odd because usually he'd move her to the bed if she fell asleep elsewhere. Inching forward she pulled her robe over her shoulders some more and grabbed at the paper, ripping it open without a second thought. The whole time she read it was as if she had forgotten how to breathe, only when felt herself choking on her cries did she realise that she hadn't taken a breath. How could he do this? Just leave like he was in no way shape or form tied to them. The tears didn't let up, not once as she paced the lounge room floor with her phone pressed to her ear. He wasn't picking up. It was only a matter of minutes before the despair and hurt would turn into hatred and anger, she could feel herself heating up at his cowardly exit. I don't belong. That was what hurt the most, the fact that he believed that stupid sentence. He had a place in her heart that no one else had just as Noah did. How could he not see that? He only had his eyes open to the blatantly known. Drake was Noah's Dad and that meant he'd always have an 'Outsider' stance in their relationship, which she could admit was probably difficult to accept. Had it been the other way around she would feel the same way but she definitely wouldn't give up this easily. Then her mind started reeling, maybe he meant far more to her than she did to him? That made sense, she was young, alone and pregnant how could he ignore that? She shook her head and brought her hands up to the sides of her face hearing Noah start squawking. Things were going great, she actually felt as though she was getting back on track but once again her whole world was ripped from under her. Angrily screwing up the heartfelt letter she tossed it roughly into the waste-paper basket before going into Noah's room. Gently picking him up she took him to the kitchen and sat him in his highchair. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it was as if as soon as she managed to control them they'd just start again.

It had been four hours and she'd finally suppressed the tears, just in time for the social worker. She was already nervous as it was and now, facing such a huge thing on her own, she was crumbling. Not one to willingly show her own vulnerability she shook off the negativity, just until this social worker had been and gone. She was supposed to be at their house for 11am but it was nearing half past and still nothing. Her phone was being squeezed in her clutch as she waited, no matter how hard she tried she couldn't him off of her mind. Thankfully the knock at her door interrupted her thoughts before she started crying again, although she wasn't actually crying anymore it was extremely obvious she had been. Taking a deep shaky breath she opened to the door to see a middle aged woman stood with a briefcase. She looked like supernanny to be honest.

"Onika Maraj?"

"Yeah, come in." She chewed on her lip anxiously and shut the door behind the strict looking woman. This was not going to be fun, she could just tell.

"I'm going to get straight to it and keep things plain and simple, okay?" She set the case down and made herself comfortable as Nicki took a seat on the couch opposite and nodded. "So Noah spends most of his time at home with you and a Mr Samuels, is that right?" There it was, his name.

"Well yeah, usually-"

"Mmkay." She didn't even let her finish as she started scribbling down notes on a sheet of paper, her lips pursed like a dog's arse. "Where is Noah?" Looking up her cold stare connected with Nicki's tear filled eyes. She didn't even bat an eyelid that this young girl sat before her was obviously dealing with something at that moment. Her expression remained the same as Nicki used her sleeve to wipe her tears and stood up.

"I'll go get him."

There were a few moments of silence as Nicki retrieved Noah from his room and resumed her seat with him on her knee. Anyone could see he was a healthy looking kid, and happy too.

"So how old is he now?" Her pen pulled away from the paper as she spoke.

"Don't you already have that type of information?"

"Yes, but now isn't the time to cop an attitude Miss Maraj. I merely wanted to know if you knew. How old is he?" This woman was a witch.

"He's almost fourteen months." Her focus lay on Noah as she tried to keep her cool.

"Thank you." There was silence again as she skimmed over some notes. "I understand he just underwent a major surgical procedure , how'd everything go with that?"

"He's doin' really good actually, recoverin' fast."

"Okay." She took to the paper yet again before looking around the room. "Everythin' looks pretty much in order here. Can I see his room?"

"Sure." Picking him up under his arms Nicki secured a chirpy Noah on her hip and guided the woman to his room. Everything was fine there too. It was going okayish for the next half an hour or so until she brought up Safaree.

"So Mr Samuels isn't Noah's biological father?"

"No ma'am."

"But he still sees his actual Father? Mr Graham?" Nicki only nodded as she felt her throat burning with the urge to cry. "Where is Mr Samuels?"

"He's working." She looked down immediately as a tear escaped. This time the woman took notice.

"Is everything okay Miss Maraj?" She didn't answer and cursed the fact that she had to ask that question. Anyone who asked if she was okay always made it worse and that's exactly what had happened just now.

"Everythin's..." She took a deep breath and pulled herself together. "Everythin's fine." Studying the woman's actions she tried to peer over and see what exactly she was writing but she couldn't read her squiggly upside down writing.

"You seem a little distracted."

"No, I'm not I just-" She stopped instantly when her anger peaked again. Every time Nicki went to speak this lady would start writing again. "What are you writing?"

"I'm just taking notes, it's routine procedure-"

"So if they're just notes you can tell me what they say, right?" The worker took notice of her fiery temper and clicked her pen shut as Noah started fussing. The more agitated Nicki was becoming the more Noah was picking up on her hostile behaviour.

"I think you need to calm down a little-"

"Calm down? How the fu-" She stopped herself from blurting out the profanity and collected her words. "How am I s'posed to calm down when you keep writin' stuff after everythin' I say or do?!" She stood up quickly and secured a now crying Noah on her hip. "I want you to leave."

"Miss Maraj please sit back down."

"No." She turned away from her stern face and pulled her hand to her mouth as she struggled to hold back the tears. Once they started she knew they wouldn't stop, but it was too late.

...

*I know it isn't much but I have an exam tomorrow so I really stretched myself to get a post done for a Dricki fic and an Onikafaree fic :/ Hope it was alright, once again my posts as of Sunday will be a lot more detailed and what not. I'm posting on Catch Me this weekend :) Thanku SO much for all the comments last chapter! :)*



11 comments:

  1. Poor thing :( She's tore up. Her and SB need to talk. Why would he just leave?!

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  2. Why would he just leave her like that smh safaree idk

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  3. How could he just leave like that. Knowing she would need his support.

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  4. I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHY SAFAREE LEFT! POOR NICKI :'( - TheOVOBarbie

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  5. Im really confused as to why Safaree just up and left all of sudden and didnt try to at least talk it out with Nicki.

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  6. OK....I kinda understand why safaree left but couldn't he have talked to her first? & he knew the social worker was coming the next day, didn't he think she'd be a wreck? Ugh I feel so bad & scared for Nic right now. That lady pissed me off writing down all them damn notes! -__- it's not fair. She better not turn in a bad report cuz...hmph. I'm mad. :(

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  7. Why is he doing this? Noooo! He can't just leave her like this :( I hope they sort it all out!

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  8. I don't agree with the way SB left, but I understand why he did. I get why he would feel like an outsider with Drake in Noah's life. Everything would be easier on Noah if Drake and Nicki were together just because it's always nice to have your parents together, and I think SB sees that as something that will tear him and Nicki apart eventually. SB and Nicki need to talk, but I think it will take more than just talking for SB to feel like he belongs, that may just take time.

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  9. Noooooooo I dnt lik dis @ all... Post soon!

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  10. Yo wtf?! I can't fuckn believe Safaree was such a lil coward and left them like that, then had the nerve to leave it in a letter... Ugh I can't believe him! My poor Nic can't stop crying, I feel so bad for him. Ugh this trick was making me mad, doin all that shit and she knew Nicki was gettin mad, stupid bitch! I hope Nic and SB talk things out, I don't want her with Drake

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  11. awwwwe my poor Nika. I need them fixed I hate the rough patches.

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